the Fear factor

I've always been curious about the concept of being a proper God fearing Christian, as if fearing your creator was a good thing. I think back on the mixed signals I've received from countless lectures and hours upon hours of passive aggressive preaching from parents pastors neighbors and the like about how God is a loving God, but you would do well to fear him. Because he has a hair trigger for a temper. Sure he sent his only son down to earth to take upon himself all of our collective sins, i mean damn talk about a callous prick-not even his family/well actually if Jesus God and the holy Ghost are all one in the same he really sent his pinky finger down to save us, maybe he's not the loving god we all thought maybe he just wants to know what it feels like to know fear himself and to suffer as if he was mortal? if he's part God but bleeds and sees through very mortal eyes then he would have to know what fear felt like.
Imagine that, if the supreme creator that spun all of this out of nothing didn't know what he had created-wanted to experience the sensations we take for granted here, for himself,...uh,...does that really encourage you to be a believer? Yeah my God is an awesome God,...I mean he's so awesome that he just creates all this stuff and sometimes he doesn't even know what he created, he was on a roll-didn't have time to stop and think about what he did, it was just like
"BAM there you go! BAM that's tight! BAM i'm not sure what that is but i'll get around to figuring it out after a while! BAM oh now that IS awesome, i think i'll tell man/woman to call that a wombat."
in god's infinite wisdom he DIDN'T know what it felt like to be tortured and crucified? so he needed to experience it via a human host body? seriously? come on. Vanity pure and simple, we create a god that is supposedly all knowing-all powerful and yet when it comes to knowing pain and the suffering he's created-because afterall if you create a creature that creates suffering then you as the creator of that creature are responsible for that suffering-so that's what we are to fear, the fact that he's an all powerful supreme being that has his hands into EVERYTHING but when it comes to man/woman he's decided to take his hands off the wheel and we are supposed to come to him out of our own volition? WHY would it do that?
Because IT is a man made invention. fear the authority, fear its wrath, it loves you that's why it beats you down. Sound familiar? its up to YOU to come to him he knows whats best for you, and this bullshit about Jesus suffering for your sins, sins that THEY created. unbelievable.
Now i know what people might say, well if there is no god then there is no sin, and if there is no sin then there is no moral crime and if there is no moral crime then we are free to do anything and everything we want! no god, no fear.
NICE,...but that's bullshit-that's dinosaur talk. Not fearing doesn't give us the license to be killers, it only means that we use reason to base our code of conduct on NOT moral bullying. If you kill your neighbor because you want his/her car if the community around you didn't prevent you from doing that EVERYONE would be killing each other for their material posessions. Simple. A + B= peace. you don't need a phantasm in the sky for that, but many people cling to that image because fear lets you know you're alive. I'm alive but i could be crushed by a power much bigger than me,...that validates my existence my puny little existence. But this knowledge of the order of things keeps many impotent as well, which is why i don't fear god, if it does exist. I am in awe of whatever it is that spun all of this into being,...being in awe doesn't make me any less appreciative of life,...it just makes me feel fortunate to have a chance to be here and live day to day, as if any day could be my last,...and after i depart from this earth, i don't expect Earth round 2 the cloud version-i feel that whatever i was will be dispersed into the atoms of this earth and will be reconfigured somewhere else, feeding the cycle of death and rebirth, but i will be no more. and that makes me feel free to live as if i won't get a second chance. So if this is my one chance to live why the FUCK would i want to spend most of my time in fear,...
well i won't, and you shouldn't either.