the day i lost my faith and my footing

True story,...

I was 14 my arms were full of art supplies coming down the stairs in a hurry and OOPS I tripped and tumbled down the stairs and at the bottom of the stairs SMACK right into the wall. I was disoriented, my pride hurt and so did my leg. I whined,...my dad was sitting literally ten feet away watching the news, he heard the racket and in true midwestern fashion he leaned over to catch my eye and asked in an hurried tone,... "Can you walk?" I replied,..."I,...I don't know aaaah it hurts I think I broke something." He leaned back into his chair and said,... "Wait until after the news then we'll get you some ice." As I sat there holding my ankle I remember thinking,..."holy shit he's not kidding. Finishing the news is more important than helping me with my jacked up ankle,... well then fuck it I don't need his help." And that was it, I gritted my teeth stood after several tries and limped away never looking back. I love my parents, I love them for this lesson even though to this day my dad always laughs and says "Jair,...." That was the day I stopped expecting help and stopped waiting for someone else to solve my problems.
When I ask people what's the feeling they get when they think that there's an invisible force looking out for them, more often than not the reply is "It's nice to know I'm not alone." My response to that is how much potential is lost leaning on this placebo this crutch for support. We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for,...but most individuals turn away from their own strength in favor of an external force to lean on. When in the end the power has always been within you. When I stopped reaching out, and instead used that hand to lift myself up that was a day where I ceased to become a victim and instead became master of my own fate.
I've learned to give and recieve with the best of them I've gone through phases of voluntary solitude and desperate longing, and i've come to respect the basic idea of karma passing on the goodness that has come to me,...but never,...NEVER will I hold my breath waiting to be rescued. The invisible hand is not coming to save us. We are free to live or die in every moment of our lives that is what it means to be alive. To be free. To be strong. To lose your footing and happily find your own path.